Me versus my own ego

— 2 minute read

Some of you may already know the story, but let me cut to the chase.

In 2005 I needed to take time out from the bleeding edge of the read/write Web to raise my children after my wife died of cancer after an intense period of suffering. I'm fine talking about it, but writing about it still proves difficult.

My grief and emotions were so raw it wasn't safe for my health to just 'blog through the pain'. For a long time I simply could not function behind the screen. Trust me, it was extraordinarily frustrating. I could huff and puff all I wanted, but my mind remained locked.

So everything went on hold so I could focus on them. That I could do, so I did that. Sold the house, gradually sold most of the things. Money and so-called social status did not matter nearly as much as what was truly important.

Call it nuts, and I'm sure I probably was, but I still view it as a priceless investment of energy over time. Somehow we did it, together, with a little help from our friends, framily, and community.

All of the empathy, compassion, and inclusion which the tech realm has finally, finally (hopefully maybe) have begun to realize might be important — and not just to their bottom line — has been part of my daily practice all along, as I went digitally underground in San Francisco, hidden in plain sight.

And though my kids were quite young at the time (3 and 5 years old), they're now fully realized adults and I couldn't be more proud of them. They continue to be some of my best teachers.

So here I am, wanting to help make the Web a more humane place. I know I'm not alone.

Who wants to work with me? (perhaps again)